Chocolate Chip vs. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip

This post is in response to you... yes you, Mr. or Ms. "Oatmeal Chocolate Chip is better."
I am setting out to fix you. You may think you love the gritty grinding feel and flavor of the oatmeal CCC (chocolate chip cookie), but you don't really. You are a young girl in love with a rebel.

"Oooh, this texture, this feel, this moment! It's so different, it's so unique!"
What you fail to realize in your drunken stupor is that staple foods are staple foods for a reason. Ranch is THE best dressing, not some silly fruit-flavored vinaigrette. The traditional and wonderful tollhouse chocolate chip cookie is THE best cookie, before it is contaminated by oats.

Now I am not saying that oatmeal CCCs are horrible or evil... that would be like saying Star Wars is not a good movie because C3P0 is annoying. You deal with the fact there is something strange, because the product, at its core, is amazing.

If I walked up to you and said, "which cookie would you like? CCC or Oatsy CCC?" You might be tempted to go for the oatsy. It's a whim, a fling, a silly romantic idea that anything could possibly take CCC's place. Is it so wrong that you want something more? No, it's not... I'm not saying it's like putting mustard on your pancakes. But if you say that you like Oatmeal CCCs better than traditional then it's equivalent to liking strawberry jam on your pancakes more than maple syrup. It's sweet, it's silly, it's great grand and glorious, but it's not the best.

The best is like home. The best is like a blanket and a fireplace while you snuggle your wife and look at the falling snow. The best is what you spend your day to day life doing. The best is the traditional chocolate chip cookie.
If you had to slaughter CCC or it's annoying second cousin Oatsy CCC, and remove it from this planet for all time, you know in your heart you would sacrifice oatsy. CCC might not thrill you, he might not rip your mouth up with his wildness (or cardboard texture) but he is home. Don't pretend you like oatsy better just because you like to have a little bit of variety in your life. Don't pretend that you wish Chips Ahoy! made an oatmeal variety. (Maybe they do, but it doesn't usually make the shelf). Embrace the fact that you don't need oatmeal. Free yourself from the cankerous pain that is caused by your love-affair with old oatsy. Throw yourself into the warm loving arms of the oat-free chocolate chip cookie.