My Brain = No Vacancy

My brain can't take it anymore; no, wait... my brain won't take it anymore. I don't really know how to explain this feeling, but right now my brain is like a bank vault at night: nothing can open it but time. This isn't fatigue, and I'm not sleepy. My brain actually will not accept information. This has happened 3 times in my life: right now, the night after I finished my 8 hour final last semester, and after memorizing 300 chinese characters a couple years ago. I can still access information, and I'm still thinking clearly, but I can't learn anything.. This is especially inconvenient because I need to be learning about joining parties in a lawsuit. I think running would help, but I already did that. Alcohol is not an option. I think television is my only hope, and that's kind of ironic. Avoiding learning and wasting time watching Heroes on hulu.com might actually help me get ready for my next final. Pure awesomeness.

Random late-night thoughts.

Running aggravates every current condition. Sore knee: aggravated; asthma: aggravated; full bladder: aggravated; "squirts", uh aggravated. Then you see a UPS truck. What can brown do for you? Nothing pleasant, thank you very much.

My wife's office (old building, probably built when mildew was a preferred fragrance) has a bomb/fall-out shelter. I'm glad she'll be safe if the "War Games" computer actually starts a nuclear war, but the real question is whether a person really wants to live to see a zombie apocalypse with only stoner students and academics to protect them. "I teach philosophy, we must convince the zombies to listen to reason" [eaten] "I'm a scientist, I will find a cure" [eaten].

A good way to gain humility is to feel stupid for a while. A good place to feel stupid (for me, and probably you) is on a farm. Put me on a farm and I'm friggin Billy Crystal (city slickers) My IQ is probably okay, but my farming IQ is embarrassingly low. But who needs to know how to grow food right? I mean, honestly, I'm in law school. Great, a lot of good the uniform commercial code is going to do me in the zombie apocalypse. "I have a legal action against you, Mr. Zombie" [eaten]

Everything I know and do is influenced by movies or TV in one way or another. I've been to school for a long time now, but I find that I mix movie and TV knowledge in with real world knowledge. "Mr. Berger, do you need probable cause to stop a person from entering their home and possibly tainting evidence?" "Yes." "And how do you know that" "Um, huh... well, it's on page.... let me see. Oh. Nope, I actually saw that on a Law and Order episode. Sorry."

Other example:

How do you stop an asteroid from destroying the earth?

Drill a hole in it and put a nuclear warhead inside to split it in two= movie knowledge.

Use the gravitational pull of a spacecraft to slowly shift the asteroid over a long period of time = real world (albeit hypothetical) knowledge.

For the most part, I only get addicted to stupid things. Facebook is a great example. Facebook has a 20/1 stupid/good ratio. For every one tidbit of useful information I have to sift through 20 pieces of virtual crapsludge. "What car would you be" quizzes, "pieces of flair" , and "John Doe is finally going to do it" statuses. Really? Do what? What are you going to do? Apparently you don't think I care enough about what you are actually doing to tell me, so you want me to guess, because whatever I guess will automatically be cooler than what you are actually doing. But heck, I'll bite. "What are you doing?" --- "I'm going to move". Yeah.... "John Doe is going to move" was way too hard to type. And then there are the TMI people. To help those people who lack brain filters to help them I've developed this:

List of topics that shant be discussed in public view on facebook: (Statuses, and walls)

Divorces, hemorrhoids, female anatomy, how stupid your boss is, bankruptcy, moral bankruptcy, racism, sexism, stranded on a desert island fantasies, and anything else you don't want EVERY SINGLE ONE of your friends to know about.

I love my wife. I'm really surprised she puts up with me. My brain works like windows vista. It doesn't matter how much man-ram I have, some processes will just take all of my attention. It's like when your computer is trying to get all booted up so it takes 5 minutes to open a browser to check the weather. For example, during the last 2 minutes of any sporting event, from football to badminton, I am completely useless. "Sorry, your simple request can not be processed at this time, please wait for available man-ram." "Honey, what time do you have class in the morning" ---100% of Man-Ram is being used for this thought: "Come on team USA, don't let that shuttlecock hit the ground!!!"