First topic: Ferberization. (Fu bu rui zai xiang)
Ferberization is a technique that Confucius (Kong zi) developed in Qu Fu in which young persons are taught to learn special skills, namely Kung Fu, in their sleep. Confucius and his homeys believed that this could be accomplished by subjecting 4-6 month old babies to a steady diet of stinky bean curd and forcing them to battle praying mantises in their cribs with chopsticks. (Quai Zi)
Notable beneficiaries of this radical technique are Bruce Lee, Mao Ze Dong, Chaing Kai Shek, and Chuck Norris, believe it or not. Originally, the writers of 24 planned on subjecting baby Jack Bauer to this technique... (like he was ever really a "baby"... he was man child face breaker) however, PETA (people eating tasty animals) wouldn't allow the actual impalement-by-chopstick of praying mantises (a special and secretive peta ritual) on such a brutal television show. Jack Bauer wanted to "interrogate" (aka use jumper cables on their armpits) the senior PETA members, but unfortunately a horribly wounded informant fell on his door step with details that might lead to, what else, an assassination attempt mixed with a nuclear bomb threat.
Just Kidding.
Anyway, Ferberization is basically just one of the many methods used to help your baby learn to go to sleep, mostly by screaming 'til they pass out... oh no, not really... Okay maybe..
Dr. Ferber must have realized that not all husbands could lock their wives in the bathroom, and he created a technique where the parents can check on their babies throughout the process at gradually rarer intervals, during which they can provide the wee ones with comfort (mostly hands-off).
So we are currently involved in this process. Our baby is doing very well now, but she's not completely ready to count sheep without a protest yet. I decided to write about this tonight because I can see how amazingly successful it's been, but I can still feel the pain of the process.
Our baby doesn't cry much... she just sings to us like an angel and occasionally barks orders at us. She's wonderful, and pretty much perfect in every way.. However, it was time for her to sleep without us (by "us" I mostly mean Natalie) getting up 10 times a night.
So I wasn't at all excited about the idea of her screaming like I would in a dark room with only a staticky TV and a green mirror. (Screw you, poltergeist writers , and I don't know why I've always been afraid of mirrors in the dark... probably due to my fear of metaphorically being invisible to others...)
So the cry-it-out method is absolutely horrible. And the ferber method is an annoying extension of the method. However, the crying works like a charm, and our baby is bouncing and bubbling and happy during the day. She gets enough sleep now, and we have free time in the evenings.
However, I'm not a big fan of Dr. Ferber. I'm not at all convinced that these periodic checks help the baby, especially when you can't pick her up. She acts as if we are mocking her. Kind of like if I were in jail overnight and someone came in pretending to post bail and just said, "good to see you, good night" and left. In my completely unscientific opinion, the Ferber method just extends the pain. So while I wholeheartedly support the cry-out method, I think the Ferber modifications are stupid. It's kind of like Chloraseptic: it doesn't actually help your throat with the problem, it just numbs the pain for a second until it wears off and seems worse.
I suppose I would be more supportive of the F'er method If the consoling actually did anything.. Like if you walked in on the screaming, sweating, PO'd baby and said, "Hi there. " And the baby smiled and did a cartwheel, and then you leave, and the baby says to herself, "Oh well, I'll just take a snooze." But that doesn't happen. The baby just keeps screaming, but instead of screaming FOR you, she screams AT you. Still, in the morning, she is so happy to see us and her brain is not liquified or anything, so whatever.
All-in-all, letting our baby cry for a few nights was the right decision, and now everyone is happier.
(FYI, she's down to just crying for a few minutes and then pretty much sleeping all night)
