Laundry Basket
During my bachelorhood, this was called "the corner." I always figured that if my clothes didn't stink or look terrible, then I could always get them back out of the corner. I would have a big mound of clothing, like a little clothing club, and I would do huge loads of laundry on occassion. I understand that I'm a man, and that clothing gets dirty, but my stink factor is low enough that the underwear acts as a decent shield for at least 3 wears... and I didn't actually do manly work, so it's not like I was getting grease all over my banker clothes. So the philosophy was : "wash the undies and exercise clothes often, and the rest will last me a while. Think about it, 10 outfits, three days each= 30 days with no laundry. And I really only had to go shopping once every 18 months or so. I think if I didn't have to separate lights and darks, I would probably just use the washing machine as a laundry basket.
But now my eyes have been opened. I still manage to make a little pile where my wife doesn't walk, but there is this magic white basket where my dirty clothes can go, and then I can tell the difference between dirty clothes and clean clothes (I'm not really that bad, but maybe a little) And for some reason, some crazy crazy reason, my room doesn't smell like a muskrat. I'm still a slob compared to my wife, and I try to make it up to her, but serious progress has been made.
I always said "Who needs a laundry basket" and apparently the answer is "anyone who can afford $3.99 at walmart."
Curtains
Curtains are just not manly. Do you disagree? I'd be fine correcting my post with any manly examples you can think of, but I really can't. Men don't need curtains... if mini blinds just won't do, then we'll make up a teflon-titainum substance that fights back the sun army and keeps our house cool. Think of a super spy that has curtains in his office? Anyone? Anyone? Do lumberjacks have curtains in their cabin? Do pirates have curtains on their port holes? I think the President of the United States has curtains in the oval office, but I'm not supposed to think that's a manly job, and I'm sure he doesn't do the decorating anyway. When I was a bachelor and I didn't like the bright light in my window at 6 am that the blinds couldn't fight off, I just hung a jungle sheet that I found at the DI. It blocked out most of the light, and put tiger stripe shadows on the wall.
But again, my eyes were opened. Did you know that curtains are awesome? I'm not yankin' yer chain here, I'm serious. The light in our apartment is all golden now, and I have so many options. Open window, open blinds, open curtains.... open curtains, closed blinds... I can even have open window closed curtains and then they just blow in the wind like a russian ballerina, instead mini blinds, that clank in the window like a monkey in a cage.. Maybe curtains should be manly... But that's like making a skirt manly... wait, wait... Kilt Curtains! Can you say business opportunity!
Zip Loc Bags
My teeth can chew threw steel. I'm a man.. I can eat tree bark. Do you seriously expect me to be afraid of stale licorice? And I'm resourceful, I can just use the grocery bag to cover the cheese after I open it. Air tight? No, but who cares... Air never hurt me none.
But little did I know.. really, did you know that if you use a zip loc bag for licorice after you open it, it's like you have fresh licorice every time? Fresh redvines are sweet heavenly gifts... and stale redvines are like cherry dog toys (still delightful, however) And, did you know that cheese doesn't get that weird baking soda flavor if you keep it sealed air tight? Before I got married I just figured that it was silly to spend 2.49 every 6 months on bags.... oh was I wrong!
So thanks Nat, for bringing these miracles into my life.. Oh yeah, and for having my Baby. :)
(Disclaimer: For those of you who don't know me, I'm not really that stupid, and I understand that a Baby is more of a miracle than a zip loc bag.... do they make zip loc diapers? Business opportunity number 2! Think Billy Mays would pitch the idea?)
